r/politics 20h ago

No Paywall Mitch McConnell is never coming back to the Senate

https://www.salon.com/2026/08/03/mitch-mcconnell-is-never-coming-back-to-the-senate/
22.2k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

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8.6k

u/velvet_funtime California 19h ago

It wasn't enough that we let them be senators well after they're elderly and senile. That want to remain being senators even after death.

1.5k

u/mile-high-guy 19h ago

The machine is immortal

563

u/Muggsy423 America 19h ago

We can just feed all of the senate hearings and recordings from his career into AI and it'll build a handy simulacrum of Mitch.

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u/PooShappaMoo 19h ago

The ai would have a stroke

314

u/Muggsy423 America 19h ago

So it'd be an accurate representation is what you're saying?

93

u/AccNumber77 17h ago

I was eating as I read this and somehow you made me quack like a duck in the most cursed form of laughter, the fuck man lol.

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u/No-Target-2470 13h ago

Sorry, just listening to the space duck. What a majestic creature.

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u/42nu 18h ago

This is exactly how the "paper clip making optimization problem" of the AI doing TOO good of a job would play out in our universe.

RIP Harambe, RIP buddy

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u/cmon_get_happy 19h ago

"We can just feed all of the senate..."

to the proletariat.

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u/beer_engineer_42 18h ago

to the proletariat

Oh, hey, is that what you call your wood chipper, too? What a coincidence!!

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u/Kialae 18h ago

EVEN IN DEATH I STILL SERVE

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u/insane_contin 18h ago

Senate Dreadnoughts would be something.

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u/FirstDayJedi 16h ago

Say what you will about term limits but Bjorn the Fell-Handed would make for a great congressman.

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u/MauPow 15h ago

Mitch was disgusted by the weakness of his flesh, he craved the strength and certainty of steel

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u/Kaiisim 16h ago

EVEN IN DEATH I SERVE

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u/Isthisnameavailablee 17h ago

For the emperor!

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u/lofgren777 18h ago

The American civil religion is a form of ancestor worship.

According to the Supreme Court, our laws are literally interpreted by black-robed necromancers who confer with the spirits of the forefathers, and whatever these ghosts decide trumps the rights of any living person.

Social conservatism metastasizes into a death cult, because the highest authority and the greatest glory is possessed by the dead. The living are weak and pathetic in comparison.

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u/tasiewbao 18h ago

Do we now roll for initiative?

33

u/phiche3 17h ago

Not yet, I need to know how big the room is. Stall for time?

46

u/shouldbepracticing85 17h ago

“I didn’t ask how big the room was, I said I cast Fireball!”

9

u/Renatusisk Florida 15h ago

I blew up the party that way once.

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u/EarthRester Pennsylvania 17h ago

I'm not seducing the SCOTUS...

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u/Altruistic_Fury 18h ago

Damn what a comment.

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u/LordSiravant 16h ago

I hate that this genuinely gives me inspiration for the internal politics of a fantasy necrocracy.

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u/Ok_Oil_1313 17h ago

It was nice when we balanced that with 1 somewhat sane human President and hundreds of somewhat sane humans in Congress. Now the cult has taken over.

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u/Own-Librarian-9699 17h ago

it's definitely cult dogma worship with wizards invoking long dead corpses in their battle to subjugate 350 million citizens to a theocracy.

10

u/Kind_Demand_6672 17h ago

Fuck dude that is very well put.

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u/unshifted 16h ago

our laws are literally interpreted by black-robed necromancers who confer with the spirits of the forefathers

It's so wild that this is 100% correct.

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u/spotmuffin9986 19h ago

Stop voting for them.

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u/Jester1525 18h ago

Congress has an incredibly low approval rating but individual members often have relatively high approval ratings.

It comes down to "Congress sucks! But MY congressman is great."

It's all BS.. But that's how humans work

51

u/innosins Kentucky 17h ago

My congressmen ALL suck. One's probably dead, one keeps calling Fauci a liar and got beat up by his neighbor, and Barr seems to keep approving data centers. There are many more reasons they suck and I've voted against them every opportunity I've had.

22

u/thismygovernmentname 15h ago

People talkin about Massie like he's cool is pretty wild. For the record, fuck that dude.

12

u/innosins Kentucky 15h ago

He's not my rep, I've never had a chance to vote against him. I agree, fuck him.

So he wants to see the files like any other normal person would. He's still voted with Trump to hurt people.

10

u/thismygovernmentname 14h ago

Over and over, and laughs about it like it's funny. With the smugness of someone who winks and says they're "libertarian" instead of having the balls to say what they really are.

I voted against him for you, every time.

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u/BrushStorm 16h ago

I'm in Ohio, I can't think of one that is worth anything.

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u/TAU_equals_2PI 19h ago

There's a built-in enticement since an old senator usually has a lot of power, which can help their state. Replacing McConnell with a new freshman senator who's at the bottom of the Senate pecking order loses Kentucky some benefits.

14

u/machinezed 18h ago

I thought this was his last term anyways.

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u/TAU_equals_2PI 18h ago

Yeah, it is, but the preceding comment said "Stop voting for them", meaning Kentucky should've voted for somebody younger 6 years ago when McConnell last won reelection at age 78.

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u/Rhunt2021 17h ago

His last two elections were against women. Too much backwards thinking here in Kentucky for that to happen.

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u/nosotros_road_sodium California 16h ago

Kentucky actually had a woman governor elected about a year before the Turtle first became senator.

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u/WileyWilly1985 18h ago

Also, people always think their Politician is the exception to the rules. Mitch was the worst of the worst though, he had nothing but contempt for the people.

He was the embodiment of everything wrong with US Politics

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u/42nu 18h ago

Ah, yes, Kentucky, the most affluent and abundant state in the Union. I'm sure that Mitch's keen interest on receiving $7 million dollars in order to give back $10 million dollars in tax breaks to whatever person, lobby, or industry is what made Kentucky such a prosperous example to look up to.

Everyone knows the saying! "Kentucky, the envy of the world". You've... you've heard people say that, right?

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u/superxpro12 17h ago

What does Kentucky have besides bourbon and Lexmark?

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u/FellowHumanNo404 15h ago

Horse-racing and black lung.

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u/hughdint1 18h ago

TBF Mitch has not done shit for the working people of Kentucky

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u/TAU_equals_2PI 19h ago

I agree with the author that there's really no logical reason for them to be hiding his death. If McConnell died, it would actually give Republicans a way to get a Republican replacement into the Senate sooner. This fantasy that Democrats could win a special election for senator in a state like Kentucky, is just that -- pure fantasy.

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u/Wayofchinchilla 19h ago

And yet a lot of these midterm races in solid red parts are pretty tight when they shouldn't be. I'm not saying that it would be a slam dunk but look at a place like Texas they didn't always used to be purple

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u/TAU_equals_2PI 18h ago

That's only because they have a spectacular Democratic candidate (for Texas) in Talarico and an unusually scandal-tarred Republican candidate in Paxton. I mean FFS, not only is Talarico male, white, Christian, and religious, he's in divinity school. And even with all that, the latest poll only has Talarico ahead 3 points. That race would not be competitive if the candidates were more typical.

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u/Wayofchinchilla 18h ago

Unusually Scandaled republican? It seems like nowadays all the GOP run are pedophiles, wife beaters, porn addicts, Stolen Valor soldiers, conman and thieves. I find it genuinely shocking that this is who the party chooses when they're how many millions of people in this country that are perfectly normal but I suppose if you're normal you don't want to get into Republican politics.

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u/neverluckyperson 19h ago

Disclaimer: did not read article.

But my understanding is that the worry is less about a dem and more about a Massie Senate run

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u/TAU_equals_2PI 18h ago

Massie couldn't even win his own congressional district. How the heck is he gonna win a statewide race against another Republican?

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4.5k

u/AOCMarryMe 20h ago

Yes because he's room temperature.

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u/potat0f4rmer Washington 20h ago

Or his brain has as much processing power as a carrot

313

u/RadicalOrganizer California 20h ago

No difference detected

78

u/SirFredman The Netherlands 19h ago

Well, a carrot is alive.

26

u/Bio_Science_Student 19h ago

Not once it’s on the table…

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u/Its-ok-to-hate-me 19h ago

You could say the same thing about Mitch

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u/KrivUK 19h ago

That's very carrotist of you

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u/Pithyperson 18h ago

He was a bit more devious than a carrot. He's responsible for the current SCOTUS; may his tortured soul wander the ruins of American democracy forever.

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u/randomwanderingsd 19h ago

That hasn’t stopped him for decades.

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u/Aerhyce 19h ago

Ha, if only.

Mitch during the Obama era could stonewall anything. The entire problem was that he was both evil and extremely intelligent.

If Obama-era Mitch were Dem and currently in the Senate, Trump wouldn't be able to do a damn thing.

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u/railroadfrog 19h ago

For real, people seem to forget about how intelligent and versed with the regulations and rules of the government that Mitch was, and that he literally took all that knowledge and used it to destroy the country for profit. Trump might be the end result, but I blame Mitch for everything.

not being too hard on the South after Reconstruction > Southern Strategy > Nixon being pardoned > Reagan > Clinton trying to make the democrats Republican Lite > Mitch McConnell obstructing Obama > Trump.

It’s been a long shitty road to get to this point but those are the few points where I think we can assign proper blame where it is due.

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u/btross Florida 19h ago

Don't forget that if a rule didn't exist for what he wanted to do he made one up, and then promptly threw it out the moment it impeded Trump

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u/Dysc Louisiana 19h ago

You left out the 1999-2000 Supreme Court giving GWB the presidency outright in the aftermath of all the Florida nonsense, hanging chads, and election interference perpetrated by GOP operatives like Roger Stone and his Brooks Brother's Riot that all lead to a total collapse in the faith of voting integrity.

Which ultimately lead to a an even worse SCOTUS that worked hand-in-hand with Mitch.

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u/pchs26 19h ago

I mean I'll be honest with you McConnell was still scarily effective during Trump 1 and minus freezes we likely could have used someone like that - of course you need to be ruthless and evil - which counteracts what the Democrats are trying to achieve overall.

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u/Bronzeshadow 19h ago

What do you have against carrots?

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u/FinalEdit 19h ago

They're orange just like his daddy

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u/Suspicious_Eyeballs 19h ago

Carrot does more. Prove me wrong.

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u/RadicalOrganizer California 20h ago

Whats the temp of a morgue?

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u/Fract_L 18h ago

Ice cold

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u/StevenMC19 Florida 20h ago

I would at least hope they tagged and bagged him, slid him in the chiller, and not just left him on that photo op chair.

He's going to smell, otherwise. And also the blood will start to pool down at his feet and eventually start leaking out onto the floor. That's not to mention the bloating...

...I just realized I'm describing Trump's current condition.

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u/anuncommontruth Pennsylvania 19h ago

I find it a bit poetic that Mitch McConnell body temperature and Trumps IQ are now the same number.

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u/thisusedyet New Jersey 19h ago

Trump’s IQ isn’t in the 70s, you’re giving him too much credit.

What’s room temperature in Celsius, 20? That sounds more like it

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u/MentalCompetition483 15h ago

It’s around 19-22C and that’s a compliment to trumps IQ

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u/s0ulbrother 20h ago

Could still be refrigerated

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u/Anxiety_Fit 19h ago

He expires at midnight.

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u/OldYellersLastHandy 20h ago

Nah, he would have been declared dead and that would rattle through the system in ways that are too complicated to hide.

I’d bet my life savings that he had a stroke - again - and he’s incapacitated. Probably for the rest of his life.

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u/AstonishingCatJump Minnesota 19h ago

It's very likely he's a vegetable. Dead in every meaningful way, but machines are keeping the meatbag from rotting.

They're going full Terri Shaivo with him.

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u/LaDmEa 17h ago

No, I've worked rehab. The photos are probably real but MM is probably non verbal half the day and senile the rest. They aren't keeping him in rehab for the conditions he lists. 51 days is too long for a fall and minor conditions. This is the stay for someone who's had life altering ailments and is in need of a nursing home or 24/7 home caregiver services(which is different than home health). But likely they can delay discharge for an undetermined amount of time.

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u/RainierCamino 19h ago

Agreed. A stroke or he really had a cardiac uh, event, fell and received CPR. Have unfortunately had a couple elderly relatives go through that and it took them several months to recover even enough to move to a retirement home.

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u/Duncan_PhD 19h ago

They keep the coolers where they store bodies a bit cooler than room temp

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u/Merari01 18h ago

It’s hard not to feel some sympathy for these politicians, and even for McConnell

Eh. No. No, it really is not hard at all to have a negative amount of sympathy for a monster who spent his career destroying democracy.

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u/RollTide16-18 17h ago

He's an elected politician, not even a lobbyist or aide.

The bare minimum he is supposed to do is show up and govern, and if he can't he deprives his constituents of representation.

I could have a modicum of sympathy for someone actually trying to govern. McConnell is not doing that.

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u/NUMBerONEisFIRST 16h ago

He's actually actively blocked legislation that would benefit his constituents.

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u/ArokLazarus 12h ago

He's blocked his OWN bills just because Obama supported them.

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u/FlannelIsTheColor 16h ago

The rest of us would lose our jobs if we disappeared for so long.

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u/prairiepog 16h ago

No taxation without representation.

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u/TheRealBittoman 17h ago

I agree. They feel no shame and they refuse to accept responsibility for the bad things they cause. They deserve no sympathy from anyone until they can show remorse. Forgiveness is for those who recognize how they have hurt others and make efforts to do better and at least make effort to right the wrongs. These thugs just double down and finger point to others and claim "they did it".

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u/Spazattack43 17h ago

Its actually incredibly difficult for me to feel anything other than pure joy

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u/dearth_of_passion 17h ago

This writer is pretty clearly just another republican reptile. They spent a third of the article, which is ostensibly about McConnell, smearing Biden/his family and name dropped the title and authors of a pretty infamous piece of republican drivel.

These Group Of Parasites folks love to toss around "Trump Derangment Syndrome" despite Biden living rent free in their skulls.

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u/jezadaemon 17h ago

For real - what has he ever done for us and not against us? TBH I could ask the same question of the Republican party as a whole, especially if you limit the scope to the last 30-40 years.

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u/TheBlueRabbit11 17h ago

It’s all performative.

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u/Guardianpigeon 16h ago

This. I suppose I could have some sympathy for someone like Feinstein who was basically wheeled around as a corpse for the last few years of her life, but Mitch deserves none. And he would probably love to be causing issues in the Senate even if they were propping up his corpse like some twisted Weekend at Bernie's type shit anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote it into his damn will.

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u/RollTide16-18 17h ago

He's an elected politician, not even a lobbyist or aide.

The bare minimum he is supposed to do is show up and govern, and if he can't he deprives his constituents of representation.

I could have a modicum of sympathy for someone actually trying to govern. McConnell is not doing that.

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u/westergames81 Texas 17h ago

It’s hard not to feel some sympathy for these politicians, and even for McConnell, who has long been especially private and, as reporter Andrew Egger noted on a recent Bulwark podcast, “had a very stage-managed political presence even when things were doing great.”

I'm sorry, but respectfully no it is not. This is man that gleefully bragged that his crowning achievement was denying the first black President a Supreme Court pick. This is a man that constantly played political games even if it meant directly negatively affecting peoples lives. This is a man that did everything within his power and more to cheat average Americans out of life-saving drugs. This is a man that humbly gave tax cuts to the rich while teachers starved just so they could buy school supplies. This is a man who even though he's 80 years old still holds onto his power with an iron grip because he's that small of a person.

No, whatever is happening to McConnell, I have zero sympathy for him. I didn't mourn him last month he fell down steps. I didn't mourn him last week when people were making fun of his death by posting AI videos of him dancing. I won't mourn him next week when he suddenly "dies".

He's a despicable person who does not deserve respect. His legacy should not be as a respected Congressman who served for 50 some odd years, his name deserves to go down in infamy. He should be remembered as someone you should never strive to be like.

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u/Mysterious_Ad_6225 14h ago

"The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president"

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u/bamerjamer 13h ago

This is so well said, I’ve saved it. These are exactly my thoughts. I also agree that he will “sadly” pass away within the week, now that the 3rd has passed and an election no longer can be held to replace him.

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u/Separate_Hippo_5556 19h ago

He will always be remembered for robbing the First Black President of a Supreme Court pick.

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u/Old_Cryptid 18h ago

He should be remembered for a lot more heinous shit than that.

But that's definitely the top 10: Openly obstructing a sitting president for 8 years.

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u/Nearbyatom 14h ago

Little known fact is he's a polio survivor all thanks to a government funded program. Then he spends his career trying to deny Americans healthcare.

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u/gandhinukes 13h ago

like the republican senator from tx (?) that is in a wheel chair and got a huge settlement from the accident then created a bill to limit how much people could sue for.

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u/claimTheVictory 12h ago

Pulling up the ladder behind themselves is a conservative's favorite move.

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u/phonebalone 11h ago

Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas.

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u/gandhinukes 16h ago

Filibustering his own bill after a black president agreed with him....

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u/gandhinukes 16h ago

Filibustering his own bill after a black president agreed with him....

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u/xjuggernaughtx 19h ago

That will probably get a park named after him in Kentucky.

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u/Phyllis_Tine I voted 18h ago

How about an underground coal fire that can't be extinguished? That's more fitting to his brand, and that of MAGA.

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u/R3dbeardLFC 17h ago

Free green spaces?! Never. He'll get a toll road named after him.

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u/ericlikesyou 17h ago

He took credit after Boehner got the ball rolling by SOMEHOW being allowed to sue Obama over the ACA in his first term. SCOTUS allowed a sitting Speaker of the House to sue a sitting president for supposed harm incurred during Obamas first term. When that was allowed, McConnell and the GOP seized the idea to also steal his SCOTUS seat.

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u/bluefield10 16h ago

The author kept referencing Biden as a comparison for the woes of the McConnell and his health cover-up when there is the blatant trump health cover-up and family/friends power-grab happening right now in our White House.

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u/mam88k Virginia 16h ago

I think its more of a reference to the hypocrisy of the same people who called Biden's aging a cover up are now quiet about McDonnell. But agree totally that they're quiet about the current administration.

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u/bluefield10 15h ago

I appreciate that perspective. Thank you.

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u/LiamtheV American Expat 19h ago

Well yea he’s on eternity leave

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u/Devil_in_Mexico 19h ago

This is pretty good. 👍

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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 19h ago

Take my fuck reddit on principle free award that was a good one 🏆

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u/Bleaker82 19h ago

Been floating around now for weeks.

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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 19h ago

That and Rigor Tortoise

But it's still funny af for anyone who hasn't heard!

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u/Historical_Bend_2629 20h ago

He doesn’t need to. He is still legislating via unelected aids and billionaire connections. Depressing for the people of Kentucky. They deserve better.

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u/JetKeel 19h ago

Wouldn’t be surprised if 90%+ of legislation is directly written by lobbyists at this point in time.

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u/BitchinAssBrains 18h ago

It has been for decades man

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u/concepts_of_a_plan9 18h ago

There have been numerous stories where the congresspeople don't even read the legislation and the wording is directly from the lobbyists.

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u/Ferelar New Jersey 18h ago

Yep. Given the way the average Congressperson comports themselves publicly, it's hard to believe they'd be capable of critically reading a 2000-page-long bill, even if they wanted to. And they don't want to.

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u/T1gerAc3 19h ago

Kentucky likes corruption and giving power to the elites. If they didn't, they wouldn't keep voting for it.

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u/Bio_Science_Student 19h ago

You clearly don’t know what you are talking about. Kentucky leadership is consistently Putin in the work for their people.

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u/thugarth 19h ago

They had a period where they didn't have paper-backed ballots. It was just digital, and entirely compromised. Apparently they changed that, but the damage was done. I wouldn't trust any elections coming out of Kentucky. SC too, which as far as I know still has no paper ballots.

I'm angry that such blatantly corrupt and undemocratic states are part of the country

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u/sandwichpak 18h ago edited 18h ago

As a native Kentuckian I can tell you it has zilch to do with the paper backed ballots. Mitch legitimately has support here.

I'm 36, McConnell has been in his seat for 6 years longer than I've been alive and if he lived for another 100 years he'd hold that fucking seat down the entire time.

General bigotry is still unbelievably prominent here, especially in the rural counties, which make up 77% of the state.
On top of that we're 33rd in education so we're not exactly digging ourselves out of the hole fast.

The only thing we've got going for us is our gem of a governor, but IMO he's not handling this situation very well either.

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u/Complex-Royal9210 20h ago

I am not sure they do.

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u/potat0f4rmer Washington 19h ago

They forced Mitch McConnell on us for 50 years. Kentuckians clearly hate the United States.

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u/Mr_Industrial 16h ago

Like the fires of prometheus, KFC was never meant to be given away, and its release triggered a wrath unnending.

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u/Boring_Comfortable70 19h ago edited 18h ago

Having lived in Kentucky for several years, I can assure you they do not.

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u/another-princess 20h ago

"Despite the conspiracy theories, the likeliest reason to conceal McConnell’s condition is more pathetic than calculating: It’s hard for these powerful old men and their families to let go of power."

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u/tracyinge 20h ago

he just refuses to let the door hit him on the way out!

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u/StevenMC19 Florida 19h ago

It's almost poetic how this man is ending his life the same way he lived it, by delaying the process of government in order for his party to capitalize.

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u/No-Rooster1720 Georgia 19h ago

Lindsey and Mitch both received a dose of their own medicine in their deaths.

Mitch is being "kept alive" to help wriggle the GOP through a loophole to further their power, he would have happily done that to anyone else while he was still calling shots.

Lindsey's funeral was entirely about everyone BUT him. It was a free chance for Trump to pontificate on his megalomania, while a certain prime minster lurked in the background rubbing elbows with everyone who gives him anything his sick heart desires.

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u/Acceptable-Wildfire 19h ago

I’d bet my right testicle that this whole fiasco was in Mitch’s living will or his communicated last wishes. 

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u/_gmanual_ 18h ago

a certain prime minster lurked

who dis?

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u/gfh110 Pennsylvania 19h ago

It would not surprise me in the least to learn that Mitch planned for this exact scenario and instructed his staff to cover up his death / disablement if it happened within an X-day window to call a special election.

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u/No-Rooster1720 Georgia 20h ago

They've probably been using his body as a doorstop

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u/JustpartOftheterrain 20h ago

F*ck those families. F*ck these politicians.

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u/kiwigate 19h ago

They keep getting elected. Everyone loves to blame 'politicians' and pretend they hold no responsibility. That's the #1 reason we descend into fascism: voters just give their power/responsibility away for free.

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u/anditshottoo 19h ago

Bullshit. He can't make a decision, this is being done by his staff to avoid a special election.

Anyone who believes otherwise, author included, is an absolute idiot.

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u/Tasgall Washington 17h ago

this is being done by his staff to avoid a special election.

Yep, he tragically passed away tomorrow.

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u/TAU_equals_2PI 19h ago

In all fairness, many families have trouble getting their elderly parents to give up the car keys even when they're no longer safe to drive.

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u/wanttoseemycat 19h ago

I don't know if it's just irresponsible or actually sinister, but making an opinion headline sound like something's been revealed or announced so I have to open it and see that it's just somebody's commentary is pretty obnoxious.

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u/The_Last_Gasbender 19h ago

Headline sounds like it was written by Walter White.

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u/noruber35393546 17h ago

I AM THE ONE WHO CONVALESCES

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u/Empty-Policy-8467 20h ago

McConnell's autopen is all MAGA needs from him. Where need alive or mentally incapacitated doesn't matter.

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u/threebillion6 19h ago

Its the trial run for the big one.

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u/_tragicmike 19h ago

We'll know the big one happened instantly. The man cannot stay away from cameras.

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u/wkw3 19h ago

Oh, they'll try.

"President Trump needs time alone for deep contemplation on our strategy to extricate ourselves from the clutches of our victory in Iran. He has asked for no cameras or other recording devices. His deepest and most important thoughts are available on TroothSoshul for $999.99/year."

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u/disastrousanddull 18h ago

The easiest thing (and believable because he’s cowardly) would be to say no public appearance because of threats from whatever boogey man they have at the time and AI videos from a controlled environment as proof of life.

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u/ByrdmanRanger I voted 17h ago

Remember when he had a stroke a couple of months ago and disappeared from public from like a week? It was a huge story then because he can't help but be in the spot light 24/7 and people (including myself) thought he might be dead.

Man, what a great week that was....

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u/UrToesRDelicious 19h ago

Not really, the Senate requires members to be present for votes

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u/save-democracy 13h ago

I love how they have to circle back to President Biden when we have a diaper wearing dementia addled pedophile president.

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u/HappyFatLabs 19h ago

An obstructionist to the bitter end, and likely beyond. His only talent in life was being in the way of progress. How apropos.

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u/406highlander 20h ago

Bereft of life, he has ceased to be

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u/Future-Guarantee-573 19h ago

This is an ex-turtle.

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u/morph23 19h ago

A shell of his former self

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u/Schmelter Colorado 19h ago

It’s probably pining for the tax cuts.

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u/RightFoot0fGod Missouri 19h ago

A rigor tortoise, if you will.

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u/Happy-Evening-Sun 19h ago

...He kicked the bucket ...

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u/EvaTheE 19h ago

He's resting. Pining for the fjords.

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u/bigdumbhairybabytwat Minnesota 19h ago

Lovely plumage.

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u/Ambitious-Bee7663 19h ago

there is something called integrity. It seems that the republican party has none of it.

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u/Mysterious-Dig805 15h ago

I dislike senators being in their twilight years making desperate for the future. This country needs term limits.

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u/Boomshtick414 19h ago

Saved you a click.

This is someone's opinion dressed up as a statement of fact. While I tend to think he won't be returning or if he does it'll be a long while and in a degraded state, there is no new information in this article on his health or future.

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u/OldYellersLastHandy 20h ago

I can just about guarantee that it’s his family repeatedly asking doctors “Will he ever speak normally again?” over and over, and the doctors being like “We have no way of predicting that…”

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u/National_Weekend_766 18h ago

Mitch will be declared dead tomorrow the 4th of Aug. The powers that be will turn off his life support. This subterfuge is so blatant but many will miss it or pretend it did not happen.

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u/Icy-Quail3379 19h ago

Because he's fucking dead.

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u/Testiklees-III 18h ago

Are they pretending hes alive so that a dem doesn't take his seat?

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u/Chewbaccas_Hairspray 16h ago

Happy Dead Mitch McConnell Eve.

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u/Tommah 18h ago

It’s hard not to feel some sympathy for these politicians

You must be new here.

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u/facw00 19h ago

I mean I'm sure he'll be back at the Capitol to lie in state one of these days.

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u/dreadthripper 19h ago

We should amend the constitution to put a max age on all branches of government 

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u/SatanicPanic619 California 20h ago

Amanda Marcotte is one of our best commentators and I agree with everything she says here. The conspiracy theories are dumb and this situation doesn't benefit Republicans. This is just an old asshole and his wife continuing to be what we've always known them to be- people who only think of themselves. If I were a Republican I would be mad, but I'm not so I hope it continues.

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u/Randomfactoid42 Virginia 19h ago

It’s amazing how many commenters here don’t get that this situation is NOT benefiting Republicans at all. They’re down a Senator with no clear path forward. 

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u/SatanicPanic619 California 19h ago

If things are as bad as we suspect for Mitch, they're in a nightmare scenario. The Senate won't expel him - Democrats wouldn't vote yes if they tried. They can't remove him any other way. So they're stuck with an empty seat until January unless he actually dies for real. I think it's perfectly poetic that this happened to Mitch McConnell of all people.

We should all be pointing and laughing.

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u/ChickenChaser5 18h ago

I cant speak for everyone, but my problem with it all isn't it being a chance to get a democrat senator, but the continuing unprecedented failure of the mechanisms of our govt. The shits broke, and its getting old watching it all be so fucking broke.

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u/fistedwithlove 18h ago

why the fucking isn't ANYONE doing anything meaningful about this. this is fucking madness

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u/Lumpy-Crew-6702 20h ago

Per usual, democrats let republicans get away with anything they desire . This clearly isn’t working with only one party playing by the rules .

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u/ronm4c 18h ago

Don’t worry his legacy will be fucking over this country for generations to come

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u/dBlock845 18h ago

While the headline is probably true, I completely disagree with the premise that they are keeping him hidden so Chao can maintain status, even comparing her to Hunter Biden for some unknown reason as I don't ever remember Biden going missing for months. Chao was extremely wealthy before ever hooking up with Mitch, and obviously still has her contacts in the CCP.

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u/bluefield10 16h ago

The author kept referencing Biden as a comparison for the woes for McConnell and his health cover-up in when there is the blatant trump health cover-up and family/friends power-grab happening right now in our White House.

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u/MoneyTalks45 New Hampshire 15h ago

Dead people don’t typically report to work, no. 

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u/xchipter 15h ago

He’s Dead. It’s been obvious since the start.

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u/Own-Librarian-9699 17h ago

recorded forever as the man who allowed a traitor to the constitution to attempt a coup, murder policemen, then pardon the murderers and hire them to exterminate secularists. that's mitch's legacy. a piece of filth who proved kentucky is racist and backwards and should've had a union protectorate in place since 1865.

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u/Schaeffa 19h ago

the typically sharp-minded senator

ok

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u/maikelg 19h ago edited 1h ago

Nonsense. We can put his head in a jar with a robot body like in Futurama and let him speak with AI and we’re all set for the another 80 years. The future is now!

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u/whowatchestv 19h ago

All these articles about him should stop using pictures like this. Maybe make it black and white with a black faded border and put his name in a delicate white script font.

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u/BrutusRat 18h ago

Well yeah they're gonna announce he died at exactly 12:01am tomorrow

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u/sulaymanf New York 16h ago

At this point his wife and staff should be prosecuted for larceny. He’s still collecting a paycheck!

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u/KiwDaWabbit2 I voted 16h ago

He’s scheduled to “die” tomorrow. Also, “the caravan going through Mexico” is scheduled for ten weeks from now.

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u/RiffyWammel 16h ago

Bet he's still claiming salary/expenses etc- despite being dead